Miley Cyrus is naked. Ellen DeGeneres is mean. Olivia Wilde’s vinaigrette. Janet Jackson has a boob. Tristan and Khloé. #MeToo. Monica Lewinsky. Amber Heard. Meghan Markle. Britney. Diana. Ye.

To anyone having lived anywhere other than Under-a-Rock, all of the above should bring associations of headlines in varying degrees of bold. The above names all bear the unmistakable gloss of scandal lacquer.